Emotional wellness after birth

Feeling wobbly after birth is not a warning sign on its own. Knowing where the line is makes it easier to notice when you have crossed it.

The first two weeks

Tearfulness, mood swings, feeling raw and slightly unreal are extremely common in the first fortnight. They usually ease. That is often called the baby blues, and it does not need treatment — though it does need sleep, food and someone kind nearby.

When it is more than that

What is worth acting on is when low mood, anxiety, irritability or numbness lasts beyond two weeks, gets worse, or stops you doing things you need to do. Also worth acting on: not being able to sleep even when the baby sleeps, feeling detached from your baby, panic that arrives out of nowhere, or a sense that everyone would be better off without you.

Intrusive thoughts

Sudden unwanted images of harm coming to the baby are far more common than anyone admits — most new parents report them. They are distressing precisely because they are the opposite of what you want. They are not a sign that you are dangerous, and they get better with support.

How to ask for help without a speech

You do not need to explain everything. "I am not okay and I need help" is a complete sentence. If saying it out loud is hard, write it in a message, or point at it in this app and let someone read it.

Who to tell

Your obstetric provider, your midwife, your family doctor, or the baby's paediatrician — any of them can start the process. Postpartum Support International (1-800-944-4773, call or text) will talk to you and connect you locally.

If you are in crisis

If you are thinking about ending your life, please call or text 988 in the US or Canada, or 3114 in France. You deserve support right now, and asking for it is not a failure of motherhood.